Abandoned,What Is Left of Me?

I know it is not Sunday, but there are some truths that I wanted to blog about to get off my heart.

Loneliness: feeling sad through being without friends or company (According to the Encarta Dictionary). I am living in a lonely season right now. It is so hard to wake up in the morning; I just want to crawl under my covers and cry myself to sleep. It is so hard to be around other people because I feel broken. Every morning I wake up, slap a fake smile on and pretend that is tolerable. On the inside my heart yearns for freedom; it yearns to not be lonely but accompanied. I do not know why I am lonely; all I can say is that this is the way I feel. I like to sit on my bed and get lost in thought.

Three truths that I learned about loneliness:

1) God is holding your hand through whatever you may be going. There is no problem too big for God; He already has His hand out to grasp yours. Open you palm towards His, and He will immediately be there for you.

2) God is your friend, and He will mend the pieces of you heart to fit perfectly. He will stay up late to hug you. When I feel lonely I always close my eyes and imagine God embracing His arms around me while He says “Dear child of mine, I love you so much. Be still, and let me do the talking to your soul.”

3) God will catch your tears. Crying goes along with loneliness, and it is perfectly ordinary to shed tears. In fact God wipes His sweet, gentle hand over your face every time a tear forms.

I may have all the friends and family in the world, but You are the only One for me. Father, you comfort me when I need a hug. You love me so much that you spend time with me. Thank you Abba!

2 Corinthians 1:3-7

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.”

I think God writes me letters of encouragement. I thought I share one that I have thought of in hopes of encouraging you.

Dear Avonlea,

You are not alone. Take my hand, grab your cross, and come follow me. I am here for you. I know the road can get tough at times, but you can do all things through me. You see dear sweet child of mine I love you so much that I walked the Earth as a man, took thrashings, and never left you. I was here for you then, and I am here for you now.

I love you with all my mind, heart, and soul Avonlea!

Measured Teacup Of Mourning!

Two deaths occurred this week that I knew were coming. Let me explain to you what happened. I was sitting in the kitchen reading my Bible when both occurred. I knew it was coming due to prior days ahead, but I took advantage of it. Now they are gone. I am talking about Sarah and Abraham from the Bible.

I became so close to Sarah, and our friendship was just blooming….until I read Genesis 23. It broke my heart when I read of her death. I wanted to cry because I knew she would not come back. And the same thing happened when I read Genesis 25. Abraham passed away, and I thought about our journey together.

Even though I never met Sarah and Abraham, I felt so connected to them when I read their story. I started pondering on what was in their story that made me bond to them.

1) God has a covenant with Abram.

* God has promised me an abundant life, and time after time saves me from the trouble that I tangle myself in.

2) The gift of transformation

* Abram and Sarai went through a transformation process, and God gave them new names to signal that they were with Him. No, my name hasn’t changed but my life has changed. I have been saved through Christ Jesus, my Father.

3) Times of testing

* I have been on this journey for the last ten years of my life, and every one of the years has blessed me with a storm. When the hard times come do not run away from God but instead run towards Him. I know that He will have His arms open wide for you, just like He did for me and Abraham.

I know that the next time I read these passages about Abraham and Sarah I will save the moments that lie ahead.

A Season of Blooming!

A few weeks ago I wrote some song lyrics because I felt I need to get what was going on in my life off my chest. It read

“I looked in the mirror today and didn’t see you,

Oh where did you go?”

Have you ever had the feeling that you are all alone and that somehow you were meant to be alone? Well I certainly have. I don’t like being in my room all alone just thinking about the what-ifs in my life. I focus on what is going on my life instead of just trusting God to control what happens or does not happen. I fell on my knees, cried out my Father in Heaven and gave Him all my past mistakes, and hurts. I read one of my favorite verses that I put on my mirror.

Matthew 6:34

“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.”

You see I did see Him with me when I look in the mirror because He is in my heart. Also I am reminded every time I look in the mirror because I see the glory and blessings of what He is doing in my life.

At the end of my lyrics that I wrote that day it says

“It’s not about the what-ifs in life but what instead it’s about what is happening right now.

You never left me; I see you today”

God took away my ugly past, and He still loves me. He loves you too. He is whispering in your ear “Come back to me child of mine, Come back to me. I love you so much!” I pray that all who read this will be touched by the Holy Spirit. May God bless you and your season of blooming.

Into The Light!

As I read the book of Ephesians this week my eyes began to see the truth. I will point out the verse that just spoke to me.

Ephesians 5: 8

“For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light”

Wow, my heart starting pounding as I read this verse. I thought to myself: am I living light for Christ or am I just living? That’s when it came to me I was just living. So what has been in my way from being able to live as a light? I am the only answer that I could come up with. Today I write to you to bring you joy. Listen closely when we start living as light we truly live. My heart has never been happier. Once you get rid of whatever it may be your life will be so joyful.

Three questions to ask.

1) Am I truly living as a light to this darkened world?

2) What is holding me back from living as a light?

3) How can I change in order to live as a light?

Dear Heavenly Father,

I pray for those who read my blog. I pray that they will receive the hope and grace that you give us. Lord, use them as a light wherever they are. Nobody is too young or old so please help them. And I pray for strength and courage to get rid of whatever may be holding them back.

I love you Abba,

Amen

I love Sundays!

Sundays are the best days. Here is why I love them.

1. CHURCH! I love waking up in the morning knowing it is a new day. I am honoured to start my Sunday with my church family and my family. I love praising my Father.

2. NAPS! I will openly admit that naps are enjoyable everyday but there is something about Sunday naps. They are peaceful.

3. RELAXING! I love just having the feeling of relaxation. It prepares me for the week ahead of me.

4. QUIET TIME! My personal time with Jesus is so passionate on Sundays. I love opening the Word, and learning about the Truth.

5. FAMILY TIME! I love hanging with my siblings and parents. Sundays are good days to reflect on how blessed I am, to be born into a wonderful and loving family.

6. DISNEY SHOWS! It seems that Sunday nights my siblings (sometimes parents) gather around the box and watch our favorite Disney shows. I love how awesome it is to share these memories with my siblings.

7. A GOOD BOOK! Believe it or not I love curling up on my bed to read a good book. I just finished Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. I recommend this book. I cried. I smile. And I loved it.

8. COLORING! Enough said.

9. ENJOYING THE EARTH! I love being out in the open. I love going out on Sundays because it is a day that I am able to stop and think about God. I see His Glory everyday but there is something about Sundays.

10. BLOGGING! I love sharing my thoughts.